Westie Owners' Manual

WESTIE OWNERS' MANUAL

Although correctly named the "West Highland White Terrier", it comes in various shades of white, and sometimes even black depending on the day's activities.

Taking a look under the bonnet, this model possesses an extremely powerful engine, and can achieve long distances on a minimum of fuel. There is often a wet discharge coming from the fuel intake after bouts of rapid acceleration, but do not be overly concerned about this - it's a normal function of the 10 dogpower internal rumbustion system which features in this vehicle. And because the fuel intake doubles as a coolant device, with rapid inhalation and expulsion of air during periods of furious activity, the effect is nothing but beneficial, helping it to function more efficiently.

As regards the aforementioned 10 dogpower rating, this is enhanced - the rating is naturally only 1 dogpower, but the vehicle's onboard computer creates a virtual 10 dogpower capability for itself.

The main advantage of the "rumbustion" system is its extreme willingness to provide maximum thrust during times of need. The system is set by the onboard computer to over-compensate for other failings which seem to be present in this model e.g. limited overall dimensions, a shortage in the height of both the bow and stern propulsion arms, and a considerably weaker 'bite-to-bark' ratio than many others of its type. The computer automatically adjusts "self-esteem" levels to match the surrounding conditions, and the rumbustion system is ideally set to deliver maximum capability in conjunction with this.

When faced with competition from, say, the German "Shepherd Mk I" 20 dogpower luxury model, the West Highland White Terrier (or "Westie", as it is affectionately nicknamed by fans) more than holds its own. In common with all other vehicles of this type, it is fitted with a standard "F-or-F"* safety mechanism; however, the Westie's superior onboard computer enhances this mechanism several-fold, meaning that other vehicles are placed at a disadvantage in comparison.

The main sensor is versatile enough to send vital messages to the onboard computer which enable it to adjust to its environment. The prime advantage of this is that the Westie can sense when other vehicles are in the vicinity, and so decides if or when to engage the "F-or-F"* system. The Westie is able to detect suitable fuel for intake, and the sensor can also pick up information from the expelled contents of the exhaust manifold systems of other vehicles. At the stern end, the handy pleasure indicator can influence sociability levels by giving appropriate signals to other vehicles, and those in control of them, as to whether interaction is desirable or not.

A word of warning though - if left to intake fuel for itself without control, this model can overfill, and may expand after a period of time, affecting its performance detrimentally. There are also issues with the exhaust manifold to be considered when entrusting fuel intake to the onboard computer. In extreme cases, the vehicle may need to be parked outside during some periods of air expulsion from the manifold.

All vehicles in this class come with an audible 'repeater' alarm as standard, tested to 90 decibels. Some rapid movement of the propulsion system can also be observed during the operation of the alarm, and this creates a backup to it in times of need.

(* "F-or-F": Fight or Flight - a safety mechanism based on the computer's perception of the threat posed by other vehicles and their owners.)

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